Horrible Horoscopes: MUPPETS AND MEMES
If today is your birthday: Your Mars is showing. You should really get that looked at.
Tag: horrible horoscopes
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Horrible Horoscopes: SEE A DOCTOR
If today is your birthday: Today is the first day of the rest of your sex life. I’m so, so sorry.
Horrible Horoscopes: What happened to Shia LaBeouf?
Aries (Mar. 21-Apr. 20) Your instincts are good. Or bad. Keep that in mind. Taurus (Apr. 21-May 21) When’s the last time you went outside and really took in some nature? Get some sunshine on your cave-dweller face, wade into a half-frozen lake. Get green!! Gemini (May 22-June 21) Listen, it’s obvious that you don’t…
Horrible Horoscopes: January 2018
Aries (Mar. 21-Apr. 20) Whether it’s a major purchase or finally starting your peanut-butter bubble gum business, trust yourself to mostly not break the bank—or the law. Taurus (Apr. 21-May 21) Beware of weaknesses such as low-fi GIFs no one understands and the need to sleep. Gemini (May 22-June 21) Life is too short for…